True Identity Ministries Blog

As I was mowing yesterday I believe the Lord gave me a really neat vision I want to share with you. When we moved about a year and a half ago we never realized all of the work we would have to put into our home to repair all that had not been taken care of. One of the major areas that needed reconstruction was our pool. It actually looked descent when you looked at the outside but it did have a few places where the liner was falling down. The water was crystal clear, the pump worked, the jets worked and every filter but one worked.

We called a pool company and told them we knew absolutely nothing about pools but that we knew we would need a liner. They said they would come over, give us a bid and we could go from there. When the bid came back it seemed fair and so we picked out a beautiful liner and waited three weeks for the companies arrival.

We decided that since we were getting the pool fixed in several weeks we would not continue to put anymore chemicals or clean the pool. So over the next few weeks the pool began to build up algae, bacteria, bugs, frogs and a terrible smell. Needless to say we counted down the days until the repairs would take place.

We were so excited when two gentlemen showed up to install the liner in our pool. They began by pumping off all the water from the pool. I could not believe the amount of water that came gushing from the pump into our driveway and down the street. When it got near the bottom they had to throw out all the items and debris that had flown into the pool or got trapped inside while we waited for them. I’m so thankful that is not my job, it was disgusting!

When the water was completely drained they began to tell us that if there was not a certain type of material under the liner they would have to re pour a floor and insulate the walls. Of course when they pulled down the liner it was in fact just sand and rock. They then told us they would have to charge over double the amount of the original bid. I then became stressed for many reasons. Number one, they never told us that this could be a possibility. We never budgeted for this nor was it rational with three children and other numerous repairs to our home to sink this amount of money into a pool. Number two, since they drained it and opened it up it looked ten times worse than before. We would have to look at this daily and it wasn’t a pretty sight. Number three, what now? What will happen now the water is gone and the liner is stripped out?

I told them how I felt about the situation and that we would not be able to afford the amount they needed to repair the pool. They then took all of their materials, including the new liner and went home. My husband and I stood around the empty and ugly hole in the ground discussing what to do and then walked away in disappointment.

Several weeks later we got a huge bill for the liner. It was almost the exact amount of the original bid. I called the company and discussed our options. I expressed my feelings over the fact we felt misinformed. He acknowledged that there was some miscommunication and that we could work out a deal on the liner. I’m thinking what good is a liner going to do sitting in our shop floor. I did not want the company to be out the cost so I felt it was the right thing to do regardless of the situation we were in. We ended up making payments on the liner and drove to pick it up several months later.

In the meantime we still had this hole in our backyard. We had several thunderstorms and heavy rainfall over the next year. What happened to the empty pool was excruciating. It began to fill up and collect all the bacteria and algae once again. The more rain that came the more the walls fell in. The mosquitoes and knats began to swarm in clusters where you couldn’t even go near to observe all that was going on deep inside. Then the most terrible problem of all happened. The pool is about level with our home and shop so when the pool began to fill with rain, it would then flood under the house and almost to the top of the floor joists and flood the shop as well. The sump pump under the house burnt up from all of the rain it was continuously pumping out so we had to rush and buy another pump immediately. We were literally just trying to stay afloat until we could figure out a solution.

After almost a year had passed by, much prayer and worry, I called the company once more and discussed all that had happened after they had drained and stripped the liner from our pool. Without hesitation the owner of the company said he would send me another bid and they would take care of the problem as soon as possible. I was shocked when I received the fax, the bid was almost exactly the price of the bid they originally quoted us for just installing the liner. We signed on the dotted lines and sent the bid back right away. They said they would arrive at our house in three to four weeks. Of course it rained on and off and it took about nine weeks but they are repairing the pool as I write this. Hallelujah!

Just like this pool, we can look like we have it all together from the outside. We may have a couple of rough edges but for the most part our attire, our makeup, our talk, our material possessions and our children look to be all put together. We try our best to keep this stature no matter the cost. We think what others think of us is so important, no matter the pain inside. When we start looking at what will fix those deep places that we know are lying underneath is when we become toxic. We secretly search in the dark where no one will see our frantic state of loneliness. When we grab one fix we wait for the next fix as we begin to build up bacteria and algae. We become tainted in search for more fixes because one does not last but for a moment. I feel lead to add that there is no one person on earth, man or female that could possibly fix or provide for all you need. Stop looking and God will provide!

Life happens and the rain begins to pour, we get rusty, we loose hope and our emotions and anger begin to flood over. Your family and friends may receive the backlash of your agony or you may continue to self inflict all of the pain but the pattern continues. All the while, your liner for your new heart is laying right in front of you. You may have to start by reading the blue prints (the bible) and figure out what it is all about and how to install it but it fits just perfectly. You may have to make some adjustments in your life and cut some off but He knows what you need and how it should fit. Just ask Him!

How sweet is it to know that there is a repair man for your life? You don’t have to wait and continue to build up more ugliness in your heart. Even though you feel like true exposure to this hole in your life is too much to recognize and too filthy. He already knows and is elated you are to the point of surrender. He is omnipotent, He doesn’t have to wait on the rain to stop to start your repair, you don’t have to wait while He is on another job. He will not charge you a price you cannot pay. His ears, heart and life is open to you. Just you! Right now in the very place you set. His love, mercy, grace and understanding are all available to you and only you. He knows the dark places you’ve walked, He sees the hurts you’ve inflicted, He sees all the times people have harmed or let you down. He knows you inside and out and there is not a place you could hide that He could not see you. I hear Him say “Oh precious child of mine, if you would only open your heart and acknowledge me, I have been waiting for you.”

As God begins to pump all the baggage off of your life and heart, it begins to gush and overflow again. He’s scrapping the walls of your heart, getting rid of all the toxic waste that has grown. This time it is overflowing to the one and only that can do something about it. As I said last week He can start to mend you back and build you up to be the confident person that He originally created you to be. As the gushing waters come out of you He is like a fisherman. He knows what is suppose to be part of you and what isn’t. He casts out His rod and catches the parts of your heart that were lost, hurt and damaged and holds them close to His heart while He retrieves every last bit of love. When you are completely drained and the desires of your heart are totally open He begins His treatment (Jeremiah 15:19).

Keep this in mind when you begin to stand again after His initial treatment. He doesn’t remember your sin any longer (Psalms 32:1,2-Isaiah 43:25). Don’t look at this as anything other than a time of equipping you for your future. Accept your forgiveness! You know what has taken place in your life and you are now redeemed and restored to share the good news and not turn back. I ask that you take a time out of any type of relationship for a time being. Fix your eyes upon your Savior and let Him in to every place there is. Allow Him to be your best friend, your mother, your father, your husband, your companion and see the results! They are endless! Let Him take up your heart and soul and abide in it (John 15:4). Then jump in that beautifully reconstructed pool of living water!

Much Love, God Bless!!!