True Identity Ministries Blog

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Eph 5:1-3 MSG


Have you ever felt like your relationships were falling apart? Or simply barely hanging on at best? Wondered why your marriage and friendships seemed to always stay at surface level? Trust me I have felt like that before too. I have watched other women as they can’t stop talking about their “wonderful” husband they are so in love with and how fun marriage is and sometimes thought to myself, “why don’t I always feel like that too?” Other times I have sat in envy watching other women’s friendships and how committed they were to one another, again thinking to myself, “do I have a friend that close?”

Likely you have found yourself there before as well. So often we begin to feel sorry for ourselves. We think if we could have married the right man or if we could just find that one faithful friend, our world would be so different, so satisfying. The truth is that while we continue to blame the other parties for our surface level superficial relationship experiences, we might ought to take a look in the mirror. I have had to do that recently as well. As I stared intently into the reflection of my own relationships, I realized that I myself had built up a wall around my life allowing no one to get too close. I’m not sure if it was a fear of rejection or a fear of disappointment, but either way it caused me to continue to keep all the people God wanted to connect me with at arm’s length. Then I read Ephesians 5:1-3. I realized I was being…cautious.

Let’s face it, most of us have experienced some kind of relational hurt in our past, present and too be sure it will be in our future. So often we allow those experiences to cause us to become cautious in relationships. To be cautious according to the dictionary is to: be careful, watchful, alert, vigilant, guarded, and wary. According to Ephesians 5 that was something Jesus was not when it came to his relationships. Instead it teaches us that he was extravagant, he went above and beyond what was reasonable when it came to loving others. I wonder today…which one are you. Cautious or extravagant when it comes to your own relationships. Do you constantly become offended and guarded? Do you feel sorry for yourself that everyone else seems to have deeper connections than you? Do you walk around with your guard up never willing to be transparent with others in your life? If so I want to challenge you…take a step of faith and ask God to teach you how to be extravagant. Initiate deeper levels in your marriage, family ties, and friendships. That means you will have to take chances on getting hurt because let’s face it people are sure to fail us. But when you and I connect with others like God has planned for us to do, it will be one of the greatest joys of your life.

Want to know how I think it’s going to happen for you? One important way: Don’t love someone to get something from them, but instead to offer something to them. If you change that one principal in your life you are sure to see satisfying fruit begin to form in each of your relationships. Jesus was a perfect example of love…Love Like That.

Xoxo

Justeina